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Stories by Anonymous

How to Fire Your Best Friend

I dislike firing people so much that in order to get dismissed by me you have to do something dreadful on a cosmic scale and shoot my dog in front of my children to boot.

Written by Anonymous05 March 01 12:09

Auld Lang Syne

The year 2000 was a tough year.
For the best part of this past year, the mythology of business-to-customer start-ups was still the conventional wisdom, and it sucked up available talent so hard that it bent light. In many respects, this single disgraceful phenomenon set most IT departments and their carefully documented development plans right on their undernourished keisters

Written by Anonymous24 Jan. 01 11:39

Crazy People

I found myself sitting among a group of very senior executives from a variety of large companies playing a top-this-one competition of "the worst boss I ever had" stories.

Written by Anonymous11 Dec. 00 11:19

The Same Old Mouse Trap?

Have you picked up a technology or business magazine lately that didn't contain yet another tiresome article about the virtues and investment potential of application service providers? Neither have I. When I read these rags, I have the paralysing suspicion that they're trying to be funny. Faced with an IPO party about to close the bar and software licence revenues in free fall, the investment community and key ERP players have teamed up to bring us the biggest misuse of human energy this side of the WWF (World Wrestling Federation).

Written by Anonymous15 Nov. 00 09:46

Survivor

I must be one of perhaps five people in Australia who hasn't watched Survivor, the TV series about 16 contestants (castaways) dropped on a remote island to compete for $US1 million.

Written by Anonymous16 Oct. 00 09:18

Time Warped

You are about to be put into a time machine and sent back 1100 years, never to return. You must make your way in a hostile, alien environment, armed only with your wits and three books. You can choose any books you like - as long as you've actually read them sometime in the last five years. What three books do you take?

Written by Anonymous04 Sept. 00 10:56

Dressing in the Dark

Things never get simpler. Even the process of making something (anything) simpler inevitably makes that thing more complicated, less defined and more burdened with real and potential problems.

Written by Anonymous11 Aug. 00 14:00

The Art of Computer Science

I got stuck in the Phoenix airport today, along with thousands of other America West Airlines passengers, because the computer that the airline uses to file its flight plans crashed (oops, sorry"failed").

Written by Anonymous07 July 00 13:44

Mission Impossible

In an era when corporations are unashamed and often hailed by stockholders for laying off thousands of employees, the euphemism "team member" can fall pretty flat, even with the people left standing

Written by Anonymous31 May 00 16:02

Unfair Game

Now more than ever, the success or failure of my organisation hangs on our ability to recruit effectively and, even more important, our ability to retain the talent we've got. While this may sound obvious to you, dear reader, I will tell you that the vast majority of managers in this department are very, very poor recruiters.

Written by Anonymous27 April 00 12:13

The Boiler Room Rag

Perhaps we CIOs could convince our favourite publications to print their articles in a code that could be deciphered only with the help of a Captain Bitmap Decoder Ring

Written by Anonymous04 April 00 14:41

Moving Up, Selling Out

One morning you wake up and realise that being promoted up the ranks of an information technology organisation, while doing great things for your bank account, has the effect of moving you further and further from the things that attracted you to the profession in the first place (programming in my case), just so the God of Promotions might eventually reveal to the world the precise point on the ladder where you suddenly become a complete incompetent.

Written by Anonymous06 March 00 10:31