Remember when you were a kid and your father said "you've made your bed now lie in it" or when your mother said "allow your mother to know something"....you had to think hard about the meaning and it wasn't until your early 20's you realized what the hell they were on about. Well sometimes professional life can generate these pearls of wisdom (well I hope so....cos when I'm due to retire, 30 years from now, I'll just be understanding what some of my colleagues are on about).
I've just spent the last two days locked in a conference with my client (and thirty of there senior management group)....the focus was on strategic planning and management. Whilst the intent was positive, the overuse of words that don't mean too much was a sheer delight! There was so many complex words and phrasing the two days (in their eyes) can only be deemed a success. I mean if you don't understand it you don't want to look stupid by saying "what does that mean". Here are some short examples of what was said:
- "we need to be looking at the long term strategic issues by synthesizing our approach to planning, risk management and culture assimilation" - what the hell does that mean. How can you measure synthesizing?
- "we are on a journey of transition and independent thinking, action and relationships"
- "our stakeholder engagement is excellent, we have meetings with them" - doesn't reflect the fact that their stakeholders think they are turkeys.
- "our information management is very poor....we cannot understand the implicit factors relating to performance and structural re engineering......but we are achieving our strategic indicators" - how is this possible if the data is rubbish
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