Multiple Personalities

Multiple Personalities

This ingenious indicator can help you fully understand your Personality Type E(mail)

Dealing with Other Types

Contrary to how poorly instructed facilitators attempt to teach them, personality tests are not primarily designed to tell you about yourself. If you want to be told that you're a thoughtful, caring, sometimes amusing person with occasional bouts of stress and self-doubt, buy a cheap astrology book. If you identified at all with that previous description, you can see how easy it is to write cheap astrology books.

The real purpose of any such test is to help you interact with and relate to people of different personality types. It would be far more useful (to me) if everyone else could learn his or her E-type to work out how best to relate to me. My E-type Index is Rs/Ht/Ua (which I mention only to compel you to reread this article, since these terms are impossible to remember). In the absence of your training, I'm happy to offer a few tips on relating to my Index type.

Urgent means urgent to an Ra (Responder Attentive). So, if an e-mail is urgent, punch my number into the phone and tell me the urgent news rather than sending me an e-mail marked Urgent. Don't ring me to ask if I got the e-mail — ring to ask the question you planned to e-mail me about.

Don't request a Read Receipt from a Up (User Protectionist). I won't accept your responsibilities by clicking Send Receipt, leaving you wondering why I never seem to get your e-mails.

Before you send jokes to an Ur (User Recreational), make sure they are funny, original (as opposed to Ronald Reagan jokes recycled as Bush jokes), contain YouTube links rather than 12MB attached videos and not littered with the >> indent symbols.

Space doesn't allow me to fully cover all aspects of the Personality Type E(mail), however, I will be developing it into a full training course coming soon to an office near you. For $3000 per participant, this course will not only reveal your E-type Index, but provide a companion student workbook containing numerous colourful pie-charts, all E-types described in single snapshot paragraphs and a complex, incomprehensible matrix which is the key to the whole theory. That warm glow of knowing who you really are (in 100 words or less) will linger with you as you file your workbook next to all the other untouched workbooks from previous courses.

Now, I really must get back to my Inbox to read my new e-mails, forward them to someone else and file them under Today.

Bruce Kirkham is a veteran IT satirist and professional speaker ­specializing in leading edge technologies and scepticism, who views the IT industry not so much as "dot com" as "dot comedy"

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