4. Take an Improv Class

Comedic improvisation relies on listening and building off others. These skills are underrepresented in the workplace, says Chet Harding, cofounder of the Improv Asylum in Boston. "Corporations are built on 'yes, but . . . [that is,] I'm listening but I'll use my idea anyway'. Or, 'I'll look like I'm listening but I'm really waiting for you to finish so I can talk.'" To show the power of emotional intelligence and to develop it in corporate employees, the Improv Asylum offers special training. "A lot of what our training shows is how you come up with ideas that are bigger and better than what you could [come up with] working alone." At the end of the class, he says, participants create a scene. It becomes clear that the idea came from no one person, and it's better than any one person could come up with on their own.

From the outside, the exercises can seem a bit . . . well . . . silly. But repeat customers such as Raytheon attest to their power. One of the first exercises is about the power of yes. Participants form a circle and switch places by allowing, or not, another to take their spot. The caveat is that if one person says "yes", he must quickly find another spot before the person he said yes to arrives at his spot. Harding says that people quickly form strategies, and one emerges especially fast: "If you say yes to me, I tend to come back to you. I won't go back to you if you say no, because I'm just wasting my time."

Beyond that, lessons surrounding the way someone says no (if it's necessary) emerge as well. "Especially with customer service, you may have to say no, but how you say it is crucial." He points to the example of Red Bull, a long-time client of the Improv Asylum. Instead of saying, "No, there's not", when potential customers worry that there's too much caffeine in the drink, the answer can be, "I hear that a lot, but it turns out it's about the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee."

Another exercise demonstrates "questioning something to death". Participants quickly see that when free-flowing brainstorming is halted by questions with the "that won't work" undertone, ideas quickly die before they have a chance to bloom. Other exercises include creating stories bit by bit, one participant at a time. All require listening, empathy, flexibility and other emotional intelligence skills.

The Improv exercises illustrate what may not always seem obvious and what gives emotional intelligence such importance — people need people. Says Boyatzis, "Fundamentally you can't do much in life alone."

Sidebar: Components of Emotional Intelligence

Self-awareness: Being mindful of one's moods, emotions and drives.

Self-regulation: The ability to think before acting and control negative impulses and moods.

Empathy: Being able to put oneself in another's shoes.

Social skill: The ability to build and manage relationships and influence others.

Motivation: Drive that is internally generated rather than resting on external rewards or financial compensation.