2. Take a Public Speaking Course

Learning the nuances of public speaking is one of the best ways to improve your emotional intelligence and soft skills, says Jim Clemmer, leadership consultant and author. "The ability to verbalize, persuade and influence are tightly interwoven in what is at the heart of emotional intelligence and the work of influencing or relating to others," says Clemmer.

There's the self-management aspect, of course, in that you must manage your own feelings, such as nervousness. In addition, practising public speaking can be an exploration into your personal style and what works best for you, including what audiences you are most comfortable with. For example, someone who is analytical and serious is likely to have more comfort and influence using his own personality style as a base, rather than trying to suddenly be Mr Funnyman.

Perhaps surprisingly, public speaking can also help you become more attuned to others. "Advanced presentation skills will teach people how to tune into audiences better, it forces you to empathize, to ask questions," says Clemmer. You'll learn how to make it more about them and less about you. A good presenter is tuned in to the audience, so you will learn how to meet listeners where they are and how to guide them where you want them to go. Important skills for any manager.

3. Practise Yoga and Meditation

At the heart of emotional intelligence is mindfulness, and mindfulness is at the heart of yoga and meditation. At their most basic, both of these disciplines use attention on the breath as a tool to enable relaxed awareness, focus and objectivity. Stress, fear, anxiety and other negative feelings impair focus and decision-making capabilities. The brain literally works differently under stress.

Picture a lake during a storm. On a sunny clear day, you can probably see right through the water to the bottom of the lake. But on a stormy day, the water is choppy and the view to the bottom obscured by waves. Simply put, "When you are stressed, you don't have access to most of your brain," says Boyatzis. "That's why things like meditation become so important; it allows movement across the brain." When you are calm and happy, says Boyatzis, you can function at a much higher level, you can process difficult concepts, you can sense things at a wider distance, you are more open to experiences and you can multitask better. "Just the opposite is true when you are stressed."

When you are stressed or negatively emotional, you tend to be reactive — that is, more likely to act on a negative impulse. Meditation and yoga train you to notice a thought or feeling without becoming attached to acting on it. Say you begin to move into a difficult yoga pose and all you can think about is how difficult it is and your whole focus starts to concentrate on how your muscles are resisting (which just makes them resist more). The yoga teacher might direct you at that point to remember how your muscles felt loose and relaxed in the previous easier pose and ask you to try and feel similarly in this more difficult pose. Simply thinking of it in this way can profoundly change your experience of discomfort to one of greater ease. And becoming adept at short-circuiting automatic — but not necessarily wanted — responses can have pay-offs at both work and home.