You say good leaders must be able to confront reality, yet that can be especially hard to do when a high-profile IT project heads south. Your advice?

When you're in a hole, stop digging. Tell the truth. Come up with the alternative plan.

What's your advice on how to keep your team's morale up in this situation?

Be honest and straightforward with the team. Don't sugarcoat things. I've seen so many managers sugarcoat things. The more involvement your team can have in the situational assessment, the better. They need to have that input for you to get buy-in for your corrective plan.

You say small moments matter, that a lunch with one of your team where you show genuine concern in his current challenges may stick in his mind for a long time. What small moment sticks out in your mind?

I had a boss, Bob Sansone (at General Foods), who wasn't given to praising people very often. I had an advertising idea for a new product. Months later, after the fact, he said, "That was the smartest decision I ever made, and you made it for me." The product was Crystal Light. The idea was, "I believe in Crystal Light, because I believe in me!" with Linda Evans as the spokesperson." (At the time, Linda Evans's character on the TV show Dynasty was named Krystle Carrington.)