I received an e-mail from an overseas university promising qualifications. What they offered me was to literally "Matser a_Bachelors. Reecive the earnings and esteem_that comes with a.dilpoma! No person is not approevd". Call me a cynic, but I was less than certain of their academic pedigree. Nonetheless I chose a mixture of currently popular courses, such as business skills facilitation and life coaching, and future business innovations, which are obviously something in green.

I found Business and Life Coaching can be extremely valuable for people in all vocations. I also found it to be a bit like Amway: A quality product that most people find worthwhile, which you can usually only sell to your friends and colleagues (or, as they rapidly become, former friends and colleagues) who, although agreeing it is valuable, aren't prepared to pay that value in actual money.

Practise What I Teach

I looked at the Certificate IV in Workplace Training, a good option if the workplace is a factory or warehouse, but less relevant for corporate business, which led to a revelation. There are business skills courses that I could easily teach; all I have to do is list everything I currently do under "Practices to Avoid" and the course will be a huge success. These courses cover business skills, assertiveness, negotiation and selling skills, aimed at businesspeople who thought they knew it all already, but failed to convince their manager.

The courses most needed by businesspeople, which cover topics like "How To Present without Just Reading PowerPoint Charts Word for Word", "How to Make Conference Calls on a Desk Phone" and "Running Meetings People Will Want to Attend", aren't to be found. Thinking I'd uncovered a lucrative niche in the market, I created and marketed my own Must-Attend Meetings course. No one came.

Wouldn't it be exciting to be at the crest of the green wave? According to my research - No! Green course descriptions like "implement sound environmental management practices" were the first turn-off, and the money-making potential is similar to business coaching, because unless you crack the corporate training market, there's slim pickings. Indeed, even within companies, there has not been any major movement from green rhetoric to a green training budget yet.

There are also unmentioned prerequisite skills needed prior to attending any training. A business skills course requires Advanced Reading and Interpretation to analyze the course outline to determine whether it relates to the course title or contains any actual content. Technical skills training requires completion of Telepathy 101, as the instructor invariably has a wealth of knowledge in his head and no discernible ability to deliver that knowledge via the spoken word.

I re-examined my training research and came up with a solution that ticks all my boxes: It's cheap, easy and highly effective. Most of us realize that getting or keeping a job depends on who you know, not the certifications, qualifications or skills listed in your resume. I'm going to focus my skills development in social networking, update my Facebook and MySpace pages, accept everyone on LinkedIn and go hunting in WAYN.

I'm going to concentrate on being known to as many people as possible, so I'll know exactly who to call when I need help. That's the most valuable skill.

Bruce Kirkham is a veteran IT satirist and professional speaker ­specializing in leading edge technologies and scepticism, who views the IT industry not so much as "dot com" as "dot comedy"