Gillies believes that is the time when many CIOs would benefit greatly from a professional mentor, which is not surprising in that she herself takes on mentoring roles. In her experience loneliness of itself is not something often raised by CIOs as a problem, however, they do "want someone to bounce ideas off", who is prepared to sit and listen to them.

"With a mentor you have got someone who listens and brings a different perspective to the table. It really does have to be someone that you trust and respect; someone who has been there and done that, walked to the other end and been a success. They can provide you with options but they won't make your decisions for you."

"I've never had a professional mentor," Mortgage Choice's Newton says, "although I have had mentors through my working life. The relationships that develop can be more powerful than a professional coach. You can talk through the issues with direct reports. I think it is very important to talk through strategy with them and be seen to be involving the team in strategy formulation. Part of that ensures that people in the team feel a sense of accountability and responsibility, which can be empowering.

"I also go to conferences, especially industry body organized conferences where there is a cooperative industry initiative. For example the Lending Industry XML Initiative, which is developing methods for electronic sharing of information in the industry. Through that I meet my equivalent in other mortgage brokers. It's a very powerful place to meet and network with people, including competitors. Also outsourcing partners; I take up opportunities to meet people through our outsourcing partners because they target market segments and their other customers face similar issues to us."

What about a good old-fashioned whinge? Who does he turn to for that?

"For that I fall back on the other CXOs. I think it's important that CIOs maintain a strong relationship with CXOs because if there is a problem with IT there will be an impact. I could have a whinge to them because often they are in a position to fix the problem; for example, if we're not getting the support we need from the business.

"It's important that the CIO is not in an ivory tower. I work really hard to develop relationships with key users. Six years ago [when Newton joined Mortgage Choice] the relationship between IT and the business was atrocious. It was dysfunctional." But after the firm explored the option of outsourcing all its IT, it recognized the symbiotic relationship between the business and IT in financial services, and the relationship improved. "You can't abdicate those responsibilities," he says.

"In some way that was a cathartic period when the CXOs woke up to the fact that IT can't do it on its own and really reinforced the fact that this is like a marriage," Newton says. "If you're not communicating then you're not going to fix anything."