10 Tips for Dealing with a Bully Boss
- 05 November, 2007 14:21
- Comments 10
Is your boss a tyrant of Machiavellian proportions? If it makes you feel better, you're not alone. According to a study by the Employment Law Alliance, almost half of all employees have been targeted by a bully boss.
Do you have a boss who is off the wall - we're talking certifiably nuts? If it's any consolation, take comfort in knowing that you have more company than you can imagine. The simple truth is that bully or tyrant bosses can be found in abundance. Unfortunately, the majority can't legally be institutionalized. Many should not be bosses.
Also: 18 Signs You're About to Get Fired.
Tyrannical behaviour comes in all forms. There are bosses who are mind-controlling abusers, manic-depressive and psychotic. There are obnoxious bully bosses who rule by intimidation, insist on getting their way and fly off the handle easily. They treat subordinates like children and seldom ask for anyone's input. There are also predator bosses, a term that is explained in management consultant Harvey Hornstein's book, Brutal Bosses and Their Prey (Penguin Putnam), in which he defines two species of tyrannical bosses: "The Conqueror" and "The Manipulator".
Conqueror bosses prey on employees' weaknesses. They find great thrills in treating the workplace like a battlefield. Once they sense an employee's soft spot, they pounce on it. The unsuspecting victim doesn't stand a chance.
Manipulator bosses are the smoothest of bullies. They fear becoming less valued if their underlings get any recognition for exemplary work. Manipulator bosses are backstabbers who'll go to frightening lengths to look good to their superiors.
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Comments
Kate
I am so disillusioned. My female boss is a typical bully - very manipulative, her mood changes very quickly from nice to toxic. If you don't play the game you are on the outer and ostracised. I work in a well known much loved Australian institution and I feel morally compromised every time I walk into the office. I work in HR and find it laughable that all the policies say that if you don't get any help - go and see HR. All the bullying articles say this as well on the web - what do you do if the bully IS the Head of HR? I am a mental wreck and trying to work up the courage to leave. I know that the period I would have to give notice would be excruciating and it fills me with fear and so then I am stuck in limbo.
anonymous
I totally agree with you Kate! I work at a small marketing firm and the boss likes to put me down. We don't even have an hr he IS the hr. He always takes cheap shots at me both to my face and back. He also lies and cheats others outta money too.
bullyingsux
Honestly, my advice to both of you is to walk away as quickly as possible. Unless you have a very strong backbone, this is going to be a losing job for both of you. There are MANY good bosses producing winning results, and these tyrants will eventually be found out, by either high employee turnover, or some situation that will expose them. And no company requires notice, it's orofessional courtesy - perhaps it may not be worth it... :(
Sue
I left my job 5 months ago because I coudln't stand being treated the was I was. My boss treated me badly for about two year, I had become very afraid to come to work each day. He would yell and scream at me infront of customers and staff on a regular basis. I would be in tears at my desk and when serving customers. Other staff members would constantly say to me they didn't know how I didn't walk out on many occasions. I still wonder if there is any way I can take things further. Sometimes I still get teary about things but am now getting mad as I do not think it is fair that I felt I had no other option but to leave. HE WON in one respect and I was week to let him win., If there is someone out there that can give me some legal advice please please do so. Thanks Sue
phoenix
I am so glad I found this site. I have had the worst time with my boss and it got worse when I went to H R. My boss actually sabotages my work. I am a trainee in workers comp, and she gives me the wrong information to send me on a wild goose chase. When I complete task which sometimes takes days, she asks me why I did it that way and criticises me in front of my team, then I get told the right way to do it. When I look like finishing on time she gives me more work and when I miss the deadline she emails her boss complaining about me and cc's me in on the email. I tried to defend myself once and was basically called a liar. I've been put on a "plan to help improve my performance" but its just a means of control I have spoken to the union about it but they were no hope and only made things worse. So I'm left to look for another job and hope that the next boss is better. I have had a shocking run of them.
Anonymous
Do what I did. Say your will call in the union, your lawyer and the fair wrok ombudsman if they don't leave you alone. Tell them you will also go to the media if they dont leave you alone. Ask them if they know that harrassment is illegal. Say to your bully boss "You do know that harrassment is illegal don't you? Then say "I just wanted to check that you do know that harrassment is illegal, because I want to give you a chance to stop it before I report you to the authorities"
Judi
I work for a regional council in the HR Dept for WHS but the Team Leader I believe is a Toxic Boss - she makes out how nice she is but really isnt - my supervisor takes notes on any and every mistake I make - they are both so clicky with the young ones in the office - neither have really good reputations around the council. I am a temp and only been there since March but after about 3 months it is harder and harder to want to drive to work - I am always late - I dont want to go in - my health is suffering so have had heaps of time off sick - now I am due to get disciplinary action tomorrow when all they have caused is an unhappy place to work through their counter productive attitudes etc. I so hope I get another job soon. I cant leave until I do. Thanks for this site. It will help me tomorrow.
Karen
Wow, it's just like reading all about my workplace situation....
I thought I was the only one but it seems this is a typical thing that occurs :(.
I started my job about 6 years ago, I was 19y.o. just in my last few months of Business Administration Cert III at TAFE when I heard someone was asking for the most recommended student (which was me) to work for them and I accepted it. I started and really enjoyed my job....just not the boss...she is ABSOLUTELY crazy split personalities is an understatement. I even had an occasion where I went for a job (about a year after I started working there) and she found out because she was friends with the person I was interviewed by. I was given the most mundane tasks and losing my good skills I had learnt and my Mum actually had to have a word with her because I was so timid and afraid of her. After that things seemed to get better, I moved up starting to do more interesting things like typing up classified ads and typing for the pages but then the deadlines got too much for me (I work for a newspaper company) because I also pay the accounts and do reception duties and I was falling behind and I tried to tell her I couldn't do it all but she didn't listen...when she DID finally listen and I was back to just doing my original office duties, she started to ride my back again telling me I wasn't doing enough so recently I started documenting what I do daily just for my interest sake and peace of mind that I'm NOT wasting time at work. The last straw was today when she asked for a phone number for a customer that I had and gave to her then completely FLEW OFF THE HANDLE because I didn't have a contact name for the accounts department of them so I replied that I didn't have a need to have a contact name and I didn't have one she said 'That's not good enough" in gritted teeth.... Made me feel this big * and then I got told I will be dismissed if I continue back answering when I was only giving an answer to her question. I don't know what is considered bullying but I SWEAR my health is deteriorating because of her, I have Crohn's Disease which doesn't do so well under stress and I'm even getting acupuncture now it's so bad. Every day I worry what will happen next it's so demeaning and making me feel incompetent when I know that I try my best and I can't do EVERYTHING and know exactly what she wants....I think the time has come where there is no reason to stay there as much as I know and love my job, I can't handle wondering what day will be my last :(. Trouble is...there are no jobs being advertised so I guess I just have to wait and pray I don't get sacked in the mean time.
Linda
There is no way to win with a control freak boss. What really amazes me is how the other team members don't say anything about the behaviour. In fact they perpetuate it also. It is downright psychologically dysfunctional and in fact quite scary what goes on and what is condoned by management.
Anita
I needed to read this article. I am sitting at my desk trying not to be sick or cry, my boss has been on my back since he started here. Nothing I do is correct and I am isolated away from the rest of the staff everyday. I havent slept a full night in the last 3 months because of him and now its 5 days before christmas and Im scared I wont have a job to come back too.
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